I'm Back and Wondering Why

Yes, I'm back in Australia, first staying with my parents in Cooma, then to house-sit for various friends in Canberra. I'm missing Tanzania way too much and feel just as I did when I left a year ago - I don't know why I keep doing this to myself.
Anyway, I miss Alfan an awful lot and the only way to communicate is through writing letters athough I get to talk to him tomorrow as Paul is taking him to the hospital to get his cast off finally so I can call Paul and talk to Alfan. As I spent every single day with him for the last two and a half months I was there, we had developed quite a friendship and spent hours each day laughing endlessly.
I went to Tanzania to 'make a difference' and I did. At St Judes I made a lot of difference and had some amazing experiences, however they were the kind of differences that are not Africa specific or developing country specific. Many people who go to St Judes find the same thing, that it's not specific to being at an African school necessarily. Helping Alfan was completely specific to being in a developing country with awful medical care and so I know the difference I made was hugely significant to him and his family. It was also something no one else could do as it wasn't just about money. So I feel enormously satisfied, something I didn't always have at St Judes.
Even saying that, I would love to go back to St Judes again... the sooner the better and continue making the differences there. I have much more realistic expectations now and would maybe not rely so much on feeling great satisfaction after doing every little thing.
Unfortunately, 3 days before I left my camera was stolen from my bedroom at St Judes, while I was in the shower and the door was closed. Whoever it was opened the door, grabbed the first thing and then locked me in the room. It was very sad for me as I had the pictures of the final visits to children's houses for Dan and myself, plus pictures of a swimming outing with some of the students. Oh Well!!! I only hope the money the thief made went to feeding children somewhere and not on alcohol etc.